Hmmmm. It would be an understatement to say I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today….
Are you with me?
I really woke up not wanting to do life today. Not wanting to clean or change diapers or transport a cranky teen to school or tie shoes or do dishes or do laundry or pretend I care. Pretend I care??? Can you hear the attitude adjustment needing delivered already???
My, oh my…
So I was faced with a choice.
Either continue on as is today, holding on to the blah blah blah, rolling in my misery, wearing grrrrrr all over my face to be seen miles away…I’m good at that…grrrrrrrr….GRRRRRRR….
Choose to pass this crabbiness on to those who I hold dear to my heart, or choose to somehow release this funk, this yucky spirit that took hold of me before I even got out of bed…
Release. Release I say….
Not working. It’s so damn easy to let life pull you down. Faced with a tough choice late last week, I think it’s safe to say I’ve let it take my joy. My heart was forced to choose between right and wrong, choosing between loving someone and loving someone enough to tell them no. To stand on the truth is not always the easiest route. It’s easier to lie. To pretend. To coddle and toss it around searching for just a speck of truth in that wad of lies.
While it’s not hard to be honest, lets be honest, it sucks being honest, especially about the stuff that hurts. The stuff we don’t want to see about ourselves or others. Sometimes it becomes much easier to walk around depressed and angry, not socializing or getting out, laughing only in the comfort of your own home, hiding, pretending…
Mmmmmm…
As I sat down to read my devotionals, tears flow…
Stopping myself from going down the road of how did I get here?
Why?
When?
Where?
What are you doing????
I had to stop. I draw a deep breath. I listen. I look out the window. I sip my hot coffee.
I hear you, He says. Even though you can’t speak what’s on your heart, I hear you. I see you, He says. As bright as the sun is shining today, I see you searching for what’s good around you. I see you. I see you fighting with every last ounce of strength you have. I’m here to tell you to hold on. Hold on. Hold on to me. You can’t do this alone. I’ll meet you where you are, even if that is alone, depressed, hurt, angry, grieving, stressed, hopeless. I’ll be there every time, whether you see Me or not, whether you hear Me or not, I’m here. I’m all around you. Just look. Have faith. Stand firm. Fight. Lean on Me. Watch what I can do. Wait for Me to deliver. In My time. See where I’ve put you. Glorify Me through you. Share Me. Accept Me. Accept Me as I accept you.

Sometimes you don’t feel accepted by those around you…family, friends, co-workers, spouses…
Sometimes you feel like you’re drifting out in the vast ocean, swimming barely enough to stay alive. Alone. Cold. Seasick. Lifesick.
Sometimes life is great, the good stuff is easy to see, prayers have been answered, thankfulness is abundant. Joy is present.
Sometimes you’re stuck somewhere between believing and doubt. Things are gray. Fear is everywhere.
Sometimes.
Sometimes?
All the time.
All the time, God is present. God shook me enough this morning to make me see my happiness, my joy, is not dependent on others around me. It’s not dependent on how clean my house is. It’s not dependent on what my hair looks like today.
But it is a choice.
It’s a heart choice.
It’s a choice to say hey, I messed up, please forgive me, and guide me to make it right…
It’s a choice to find peace, resting your heart in His care. It’s a choice to see the things He plants around you as flowers or weeds. To see difficulties as a chance to grow. To pluck out the weeds. To water the flowers. To sow the seeds. To plant the garden. To tend to your heart. To use His love as a chance to grow. To see His hand as a mighty force that is pruning you. Shaping you. Completing you. You. Me.

Somedays I’m so blind to the good stuff. The obvious stuff I take for granted, is the same stuff that puts me in check. The hugs, the challenges of toddlers, the attitude of a teen, the mommy I need a drinks, the will you come get me nows, the food on my table, the gas in my van, the screams, the tears, the laughter…
These things will never complete me. These things will never make me whole. I can search all day for validity in the dirty laundry. I can look for forever for my worth in the money I make. I won’t find it. I’ll be searching as long as I live….
As I live…
As I live, I’ve found one thing that makes me whole. The love God has for me. The Son He gave to die, so I could live. So I could be right here, right now, at the foot of the cross, washing away the guilt and shame and crabbiness.
Asking to be forgiven. Asking for guidance. Asking for the right words to say. Asking for patience. Asking for mercy.
Thanking Him for the strength He granted as I could not find it this morning to face the day. Thanking Him for the love notes all around me. The giggles, the sun, the chirping birds, the songs on the radio, the clothes on my back, the hearts that look to me for love, the man God sent me to do life with, the friends I suck at being friends with, my family….
Thanking Him for finding me. Finding me today, and every time that I am lost. Every time it’s good and every time it’s not. Every time I run and hide. Every time my arms are wide open. Every time.
He never left. He waits. He offers mercy. He hugs you with grace. He will stand by as you embrace faith. Whatever it takes. A journey not always easy. But so worth it.
Embrace faith. Believe. Take it for yours. Joy. Victory. Happiness. Today. Tomorrow. In the midst of trial. On the road to success. Uphill or down. At the top. Or rock bottom.

Ok….
Attitude adjustment.
Check.
Humbled.
Check.
Smiling.
Check.
Glory to God.
Check.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]

Proverbs 17:22
A happy heart is good medicine and a joyful mind causes healing,
But a broken spirit dries up the bones.

Give Grace A Hug❤️